


fill my heart with sweet clarity

by Cartecka



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 19:31:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8635324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cartecka/pseuds/Cartecka
Summary: It's New Years Eve and Ali goes out to look at the snow.-----“It’s beautiful isn’t it?”Ali looks back down to see a beautiful blonde girl standing to her left. She’s also looking up at the sky with a serene smile on her face.“Yeah,” Ali says





	

It’s snowing outside and Ali likes the snow but she doesn’t really feel like going out right now. Her parents are fighting again and Kyle disappeared half an hour ago to who-knows-where and Ali just hopes that this isn’t an omen for the coming year. She’s not really sure why her parents thought it would be a good idea to spend New Years together at a ski resort. They’d already gotten divorced officially, splitting everything two ways, including the kids. Kyle would stay with their father and Ali would stay with their mother. It was a bad arrangement as far as Ali was concerned. But her father didn’t want to lose _both_ of his kids despite the fact that they both would rather have stayed with their mother.

It’s only for half a year though, because it’s Kyle’s senior year and he will be going to college in the fall. And it’s not like he’s really been in the house at all for the last year. It probably wouldn’t change much for him.

The divorce was changing _everything_ for Ali though, because her mother had gotten a new job in Florida and Ali would be moving from the Virginia home she had grown up in to Orlando. She would be getting a new school, a new house, and losing her father and brother. All in all, New Years didn’t quite feel like the celebration it should have been.

“He’s _your_ son!”

Ali could hear her mother’s muffled but still understandable voice through the thin wall separating their rooms.

“He’s _our_ son!” her father shouted back.

“Oh, yeah, of course. He’s _our_ son when he goes missing for hours on end, but when I want him to visit for spring break he’s _yours,_ right?”

Ali gets up off the bed, grabs her room key and coat and is out of the room and down the hall before she can hear her father’s angry retort. It’s only when she steps out of the hotel lobby into the cold winter air that Ali feels like she can breathe again.

The hotel makes up one side of a cute little square in the center of the little ski village. The two adjacent sides of the square are mostly little shops and restaurants that are filled to the brim with New Year celebrations. On the opposite side of the square is a small church. Its stained glass windows are lit brilliantly and as Ali approaches she can hear the gentle crooning of a choir. She doesn’t go into the church. Her family has never been religious and she never feels like she belongs inside but she stands just outside and looks up at the sky to watch the snowflakes fall.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?”

Ali looks back down to see a beautiful blonde girl standing next to her left. She’s also looking up at the sky with a serene smile on her face.

“Yeah,” Ali says

“It’s quiet,” the girl says. Ali raises her eyebrows. The square is anything but quiet. There are lots of people and they’re all wrapped up in their celebrations.

“Not them,” the girl clarifies, catching Ali’s expression. “I mean the snow is quiet. There’s so much of it and it’s falling from like a mile up and it lands without making a sound. It just kind of floats.”

Ali looks back up at the sky and thinks about it for a second.

“You’re right.”

They stand next to each other in silence for a bit, just watching and listening. Sometimes Ali forgets what it’s like to be around people quietly and in peace. Everyone she knows seems to need to fill the silence with something. She looks up at the sky -- letting the snow fall onto her cheeks, lips and eyelashes -- for so long that her neck starts to hurt so she looks back down. The girl is looking at her intently but it doesn’t make Ali uncomfortable like it should. Instead she’s just curious.

“So,” the girl says, her voice still soft and gentle. “What is a pretty girl like you doing alone on New Years Eve?”

It’s ridiculous how easily the color rises into Ali’s cheeks.

“I’m here with my family,” she answers. “They’re just…. busy.”

Ash must see through the lie because she gives Ali a sympathetic smile.

“What about you?”

“I work here during winter break,” the girl replies. “I have since I was twelve. My uncle owns the resort. I teach classes. Mostly to kids but sometimes I do private lessons for older people.”

“What kind of classes?”

“Snowboarding.”

“Oh, wow, that’s really cool. I learned how to ski when I was little because my parents taught me but I always kind of wished I knew how to snowboard.”

“I could teach you, you know? I still have a few openings, I think. And for you, I’ll give you the friends and family discount. You won't have to pay at all.”

The girl punctuates her sentence with a wink that has Ali blushing again.

“I… I can’t. We’re leaving town tomorrow,” Ali says. “Heading back home.”

It’s surprising and almost comical how quickly the girl’s smile drops, like they were best friends and had been planning this for months rather than only having met two minutes before.

“That’s too bad.”

A slightly awkward silence falls between them.

“I… Sorry, my name is Ashlyn,” the girl says, sticking out her hand.

It feels a little ridiculous to shake hands with someone her own age but Ali isn’t about to make things more awkward by not reciprocating so she slips her hand into Ashlyn’s. Ali’s fingers are cold in the winter air but somehow Ashlyn’s are warm and soft.

“Ali,” she says, shyly.

“Nice to meet you.”

The way Ashlyn smiles are her makes Ali feel like maybe she isn’t just saying that because its common courtesy.

“Look, my uncle is busy making sure that drunk people don’t trash the place tonight and your family is also ‘busy’ so maybe you and I can hang out and watch the fireworks together.”

Ali wants to say yes, but she’s worried about Kyle who still hasn’t texted her back and she’s worried that maybe as midnight approaches her parents will make nice for long enough that they can celebrate the New Year together.

“Or… not,” Ashlyn says as Ali takes too long to answer. “I mean, you barely know me… you probably want to be with your family. I’m sorry.”

It’s cute, how flustered Ashlyn is because her cheeks, already pink from the cold get darker and she scuffs her boots into the snow. Ali pulls her phone out of her pocket. It’s only 10. There are no messages from either of her parents but there is one from Kyle that just says, “I’m fine. Don’t wait up.” Honestly, the message just makes Ali want to find him more, but she knows she won’t be able to and at least she knows he hasn’t frozen to death on the slopes. 

“Are you okay?” Ashlyn asks. “I’m sorry if that was too much. I can go.”

“No, don’t,” Ali says, instinctively reaching out and grabbing Ashlyn’s arm. When she realizes what she’s done, she drops it and takes a full step back, blushing as she goes. “I’d like to hang out with you."

Ashlyn breaks out into a wide grin and Ali feels butterflies in her stomach and she doesn’t understand because she’s only felt this around Erick from her History class but she’s only _just_ met Ashlyn and she’s a _girl_ so it can’t be a crush. Right?

“Alright! Well then, it's still a while until midnight so how would you like to kill the time?”

Ali shrugs.

“I don’t know. This is your town, you tell me.”

Ashlyn grins.

“In that case, I know just the place. Come on.”

She sticks out her hand and for some reason Ali doesn’t hesitate to take it. Next thing she knows she’s being dragged out of the square down quieter streets and eventually into a small pub on some dark corner. It doesn’t look like much from the outside but as soon as Ali steps in she can see the charm. It’s small, but clean and well-lit. There’s music playing, quiet enough that people can hold a conversation but loud enough that they can have a good time. There’s a fireplace on the far end of the room, as far from the bar as possible, and a couple pool tables.

“This is where all the locals come and hang out so we don’t have to worry about the tourists,” Ash says, leaning in close so Ali could hear her. “Best hot chocolate in town. I promise.”

“Should we be here?” Ali asks. “I mean we’re both not of age.”

Ash laughs and Ali feels a little like she’s being made fun of.

“Yeah, no one really cares here. Do you want something a little stronger than hot chocolate? Because I can totally get you something.”

“Uh, no, no thanks. Hot chocolate sounds good.”

For a second Ali is a little worried that Ashlyn will thinks she’s lame for not drinking, but Ashlyn just nods and smiles. She raises a hand to flag down one of the servers.

“Hey Ash!” the woman says, “Who’s your friend?”

“Her names Ali. She wanted to get to know the town a little better so I figured what better place to bring her,” Ashlyn says.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you dear,” the server says. “Two hot chocolates?”

Ashlyn grins.

“Yes please, and don’t forget --”

“Extra whip,” the server says, cutting her off. “Girl, how long have you been coming here? There’s no way I forget that. I’ll get those to you in a sec.”

The woman leaves to get their drinks and Ashlyn turns back to Ali.

“So, how long have you been in town?” Ashlyn asks.

“Two weeks almost,” Ali replies.

“Dang. I can’t believe we didn’t meet until now. I could have showed you so much more,” Ashlyn says.

“Yeah, it’s too bad.”

“Eh, it’s alright,” Ashlyn says. “At least we’re meeting now. And at least you’re going to get some of this liquid joy.”

Ali turns to see that the server has returned with two large, steaming mugs of hot chocolate.

“Want anything to go with these?” she asks as she places them down on the table.

“Want anything to eat Ali? They have great nachos and stuff here. Or if you want something sweet they have fried dough or like croissants or cake or something.”

“No, I’m good, thank you though.”

“Well, alright then," the server says. "Just call me over if you want something else, yeah?”

“You bet,” Ashlyn says with a wide grin.

The moment the server turns away, Ashlyn picks up her mug and takes a long sip.

“It’s hot, but I don’t even care,” she mumbles. “It’s so good.”

Ali takes a small sip as well and nearly moans. It is very good. It’s creamy and dark and chocolaty but without being heavy.

“Wow,” she says once she’s swallowed. “That’s really, really good.”

Ashlyn beams with pride.

“I did tell you. I know _all_ the secrets.”

Ali can’t help but laugh.

“What other secrets do you know?”

Ashlyn’s eyes light up.

“Well, let me tell you about this place up by the ski lodge where, if you walk like ten minutes, you can find this place where you can see the whole mountain range and valley…”

Ashlyn tells Ali everything about the town and the slopes she can think of. It’s incredible to Ali how much the small town holds and it’s amazing how little the tourists actually get see. She finds herself wishing that she had met Ashlyn back when they first arrived so that she could have seen everything Ash is talking about. And maybe a little bit because Ashlyn is nice and funny and kind of goofy and very, very, pretty.

It’s a little confusing and if she thought she were going to see Ashlyn again after tonight, Ali might worry about it a little more. But since she probably won’t Ali just lets herself have fun and does not think about the butterflies in her chest or the way she blushes every time Ashlyn grins at her like they share a secret.

It’s nearly midnight when Ashlyn stands up and holds her hand out to Ali.

“There’s one last secret I didn’t tell you about, but I can show you now, if you’d like.”

“What secret?” Ali asks.

“Oh, you know, just the best place to watch the fireworks. Want to see?”

Ali takes Ashlyn’s hand and nods. This time Ashlyn drags her back to town, but past the square and past the hotel into the darkened area around the ski lodge. They go to where the ski lifts are, quiet and immobile in the night. There’s a small crowd around the lifts, a lot of people that Ali recognizes as having seen in the bar.

“Alright ya’ll, get in line and I’ll get her started,” a commanding voice says and the next thing Ali knows the lifts are creaking to life. People get in line and shuffle forward onto the lifts.

“No way,” Ali whispers and Ash must hear her because she grins.

The slip onto the lift together. The lift moves until the people on it are all about midway up the mountain, looking over the town below. Ali’s seen it a million times in the last two weeks during the day as she and her family made their way up to ski but at night it glitters with a thousand lights reflecting off the sheet of snow and it’s beautiful. She can see other towns on the farther mountains, small lights in the expansive darkness and she feels so full and warm.

“Almost time,” Ashlyn says, looking down at her watch.

“Ten!”

Voices from the lifts all around her start to count down as they look at their watches.

“Nine!”

Ashlyn joins in, a wide grin on her face.

“Eight!”

Ali’s not sure why she does it, but she slides closer to Ashlyn until they are shoulder to shoulder and thigh to thigh.

“Seven!”

She joins in on the countdown, matching Ashlyn’s grin.

“Six!”

“Five!”

“Four!”

“Three!”

Ashlyn turns to look at Ali and her grin softens into a gentle smile.

“Two!”

Ali doesn’t miss Ashlyn’s eyes flitting to her lips but instead of moving away, putting place between them as she should, she looks down at Ashlyn’s lips too.

“One!”

Ashlyn closes the distance between them slowly enough that Ali could have stopped her. But she doesn’t. She lets Ashlyn kiss her and she lets herself enjoy it. She can hear the fireworks and see the flashes behind her eyelids and though she’d been waiting to see them for the last two weeks, she doesn’t pull away. It feels good to kiss Ashlyn. Better than her first kiss had been with Barry at Candice’s thirteenth birthday party. And better than her second kiss with Jesse behind the bleachers during that time they dated for a month. It’s soft and sweet and gentle and with the fireworks in the background and the snow still falling lightly, Ali wonders if any of her future kisses will ever live up to this.

Eventually Ashlyn pulls away and grins that wide grin of hers.

“Happy New Year,” she says softly.

“You too,” Ali replies.

Ashlyn drapes her arm around Ali’s shoulders and pulls her into her side and that’s how they watch the rest of the fireworks show. It’s so beautiful. Each flash illuminates the whole mountainside with colored light and it reflects off the snow, creating a mosaic of sorts with the dark trees. Eventually the fireworks begin to wane and the lifts start to move to bring them back down to the village. 

Ashlyn doesn’t move her arm until she absolutely must so that they can step off the moving lift, but as soon as they step away, Ali slips her hand into Ashlyn’s and she sees her smile out of the corner of her eye. They don’t say anything as Ashlyn walks Ali back to her hotel and it’s nice and comfortable and even though Ali is sad to leave, she’s happy that she met Ashlyn.

They make it to the hotel and Ali doesn’t want to leave, but her phone has been buzzing in her pocket for the last couple minutes and she has an early flight the next morning. Ashlyn asks if she can give Ali her number.

“If you’re ever in town again. Hit me up. 

Ali wonders if she’ll ever come back and if she’ll ever see this beautiful girl again. She nods anyway.

“I’m really glad we met,” Ashlyn says.

“Yeah,” Ali replies. “Me too.”

Ashlyn pulls her into a tight hug and Ali clings for longer than she should, but in the end they part. Ali doesn’t want to say goodbye because it feels final in a way she doesn’t want it to be so instead she leans forward and presses a kiss into Ashlyn’s cheek. Then she walks into the hotel and doesn’t look back.


End file.
